typing with a smile

there was an old blog of mine... the last post was dated four years ago. throughout 2010-2011 i wrote 34 posts. at that time i passed some great deal of difficult times. everything just went in all the wrong direction. many times i thought i should just use drugs to ease my mind. or even run away with a guy so that i dont have to deal with my parents. but it wasnt easy. so i stayed with my parents, tried to cope with problems. i met guys and they just came and went. once in a while so-called love struck...and i had to deal with it...and at many times almost so-called love needed to struck and i had to sort it out LOL... 

today so many things have changed and also some are staying the same. i still live with my parents. partly because mom doesnt want me to go, and partly also because of my mom wants me to take care of the cats. i have cats now...lots of them. they are part of the family, part of my life. i'm so lucky that mom loves cats. we take care of them together. 

on my old blog, i was a semi-jobless..if thats what i should call it :). today i have an 8-5. for the government but not exactly a civil servant. my first job in the radio taught me how i could love working, how i could stand longer than any other person in the office, how work was somekinda hobby. and its still the same now. my reality hours was 8-7 sometimes 8-8. i love beauty, i love make-up, i love dressing-up so attractively...but above all..i love working. a good old friend asked me my relationship status. i answered i'm single but work fucks me everyday so i'm good LOL

inside my head..oh i have to be honest. i'm a realistic slash cynical. give me a second, i can complain about everything! LOL but of course its not socially accepted. so i keep those sounds to my head only. the good about being a cynic is that i always try to look at myself, judge and evaluating, more than anyone else. but of course those sounds also go to myself only. 

but social demands continue. the whole absurd demand for a woman to get married...oh no its choking me! master degree can take you far away but not in my society. you can go to post graduate but its not enough. they want you to become mrs. somebody, somebody's mother etc. and honestly its just too much for me. i try to be nice to such questions of when i'll be married. hmmmpp but really...i wanna be miss somebody coz of my professionality, my achievement at work, my accomplishment at so many positive fields! so i just be nice on the outside. and thats enough.

now the paragraph above doesnt really sound like typing with a smile. i should stop now. may girl power lives on and women rule. LOL.. night night