the lasting sad music tracks

the general saying applies here is that life is like a wheel. one time its up..and the other its down. nothing would really last forever.

and this song...somehow is always on my ear whenever i feel sad or down. and it would just play non-stop. its about farewell that brings deep sadness. sometimes for me its only about farewell. sometimes its only about deep sadness. however the song remains the same...

abba was always there. the first music i know, the first song i heard, the first band i know. i grew up with them. and grow old with them.

today it feels like my professional capability is tested. its not easy to act as a channel when passing a bad news. i was maybe just that channel. however some negative emotion might stuck on the way.

now i feel..i just dont wanna talk..

technical stuffs

this post might tell the readers a little deeper about me. especially of my way communicating and my preferences. i always start with the background, recent progress, and conclusion. the background may take me back to a decade ago. the time when i was so obsessed studying foreign languange, which now has taken control of my writing ability lol, i didnt predict that! lol. the recent even might relate so much with works. i will try to make it more exciting.

at first i didnt quite recognize my talent in languange. all i knew i enjoyed the english course so much. i even stole sometimes to study at school for a test in the english course lol. i was more concern to get sparkling grade in the course than at school. dad's way of encouraging me was quite different. so at school times i wasnt permitted to read comic books, can you imagine...a kid that age and not allowed to read comic books?...boy it was a tough time. instead, he told me to read english novel for teen.

oh yea..i must say i like reading a lot. when i just could read, mom subscribed me to a child magazine. then i would refused her call whenever i read it because i didnt want to miss any line. when i miss the last line, i would read it back from the starting word lol. and i love to make the magazine and books stay tidy, so i dont like to fold any of the page. not even the tip of the page. unless when i really have to.

then comes the adult age. the gadget age. the working age. communication is of the essence. how we convey ideas, and what we say to others influence our career and future. before the gadget came, i was always fascinated by email. it replaced most of the postal office works. i always view post office as a romantic place. there is trust, waiting, and delivering involved and mixed into one sustainable services. unfortunately i wasnt the type of girl who got love letter from a guy...lol but the idea of getting love letter from postal service is still so romantic to me LOL. the gadget age developed my fascination of email to another dimension. i dont have to find internet connection to check email anymore. my blackberry push mail was highly reliable. now that my gadgets are android...i am disappointed of how it cannot surpass the reliability of blackberry push mail. i mostly always use the unlimited blackberry package so i can use the push mail service. the always must come with a red strong highlight ;).

in professional world...one time a supervisor looked at my blackberry gadget and somehow concluded that i cannot see email from my phone. until today this is quite an enormous joke to me. never ever believe when i said i cannot open email on my phone. emails are surprisingly my number one priority. more than phone calls, or message through social media. i have 5 email accounts, and yes all of them are active, and checked frequently. communication through email is so essential to me. if i meet a guy, and he asked from my phone number, i will not automatically hope he will call me. but if he asks for my email, he will automatically be so hot for me..LOL

communicating through written words are much preferable. its documented, recorded, saved in a reliable archive and accessible countless times. i will always like reply email on time rather than reply call or text message on time. today i have to work at home. its weekend...and yesterday's work is still not cleared. i feel like i'm chasing my boss' approval. moreover i felt he was so hectic yesterday that he forgot to email me. after his approval, i was on calls, text message and emails with a travel agent. the lady on the other line is mom's frequent travel agent. she emailed me and i replied on time.

the revealing fact was that, even though today's tech development is almost unstoppable, my communication preference remains the same. this maybe highly related to my previous blackberry gadget, and also my past habit of reading. people around me always act on phone. and yes of course i do feel that some matter are quickly solved via four eyes meeting or conversation on the phone, but i would love to see the real progress on email, still.

the extra mind game

this kind of title is more familiar to the girls after dating a hot guy...lol. they will wonder day and night if the guy will call them or not. in my case, it's almost the same. only this time it isnt at all about a hot guy. its about a job in a place i always dream i will work in. its something i always want to do... the interview could be considered a date..and hell yea i want them to call me back LOL

i sent the application about 4 months ago. it was a bit gambling..i saw the vacancy ads on their site. and just thinking it doesnt hurt to apply. and so i did. after the last day to apply passed, i thought...they wont call me. until i even forget i ever sent it...they email me to notify that i was shortlisted. i was so stunned... this could represent many many things for me. but i thought..no matter what the result will be, i feel proud to be shortlisted in such an important regional international organization.

in my view, this organization will be an important regional groupings. with one recipe, the leaders must go hand in hand to achieve the collective goals. the impact of being asia power house makes them coordinate the policy with outsiders..and not with the neighbours. some goals are set, but to what end? homeworks must be done and they are hard ones, but in the end, if it goes well, they will be something.

so here i am...sitting down typing my blog. offering my hope and pray, coz other than that i'm not really sure what would make them hire me :). and this kind of mind game is one that i'm not really experienced on. but the torture to the waiting...sometimes can be sweet ;).

January 2015...review of life..so far and ahead.

well...i must say the latter part of 2014 went very well. i wont complain, and in fact i am grateful. the new year comes with a change, a symbol of hope for a better tomorrow. as of now it seems that life is moving on to a good direction, though not yet the wanted direction. i have left previous comfort zone and marched to a whole new atmosphere. it is not what my family wanted for me obviously. but what they want was simply different from what i want. as rebellious as it may seem, i am just trying to find my own way. i'm always certain it's positive and i hope my parents can tolerate it. 

on the final quarter of the previous year, i landed on a new job not long after i returned from my bangkok holiday. there were some initial events prior to my resignation. most of them were intolerable. i couldnt stand going home with disappointments hanging above my head every day. my lowest position in the supply chain enable top position rank people to do just whatever. without appreciation, without consideration, only with authority. funny thing was...the ones on higher level could treat his staffs far better that the lower rank. its silly how he appreciates me better, and despise ill treatment from his other staffs to us, personal assistants. so long story short, i left in middle of october. 

the new office is nice, consists of small close team. since we have no other choice of people to mingle with hahaha, so we managed to be friends and colleagues in a short time. i can say much about the new office. but i think it will only be effective if i highlight on the experience i get and the main difference. at first i had totally no idea what it would be like to work in such a small team and office. but with my previous experience, i expect no deep rooted political game intrigue in the office. besides new experience, the location gives me better chance to explore further my fitness junkie. on that matter, i found out now that i really really enjoy a cardio-dance class. i also get to skip most of the heavy traffic. Or I could just take public transportation, its not that crowded, a bit jamming sometimes but still tolerable. on the health side, i must underline that ever since I've worked in the new place, i have not visited any doctor yet. I also dont have to take vitamins once a day or two. this is something important to me. in the previous office, i realized that i was always sick at least once a month. well the previous office has a health clinic and provide service for all the staffs for free. and even though i've tried hard not to be sick..it seems that flu, stomach flu and any little sickness just had their favorite soft spots on me.

i learn new things for sure. very valuable lesson was it's very important to be able to scan whether your boss is a playboy or not. a playboy boss will give a hot woman like a hard time. especially because i dont shit where i work. fortunately my boss is far from being a playboy. so i'm relieved and can withdraw any kind of dress to wear to work :). the other valuable lesson was that... this is something i picked from a random meme in facebook, it's about salary and giving correlation. back in the previous office i always feel the salary was so less that i couldnt go out in weekend. now, even though the main income is a bit higher, i can have the chance to take freelance translation job. after lunch basically there is no more work. so i can poke my friends on translator network to share their vacant orders. the correlation was..if you feel that you are getting paid less than what you work for, consider the rest of the money you dont earn is a blessing. if you are paid higher with less work, so you must give more to others to share the blessing. and i hold on to this coz i know its true.

on the first day of january i joined #taunbarubagi2. its a community of people who give food to homeless and scavangers cleaning the street on that day. well it took a lot of commitment at first because i was so tempted to party all night long. but on 31st december i made a promise to go home early and spend the new year event in bed. so it did happen. just new year dinner, a little drink then i went home early. in the morning, i rushed to leave home, picked up a friend then off to the meeting point. the task was simple, the committee give us a route then we drive there, i drive, another person was also with us to go out of the car then give the food to the targeted people. and oh it was an awesome feeling to share with the needy. i may not always have enough financial resource...but donating energy, and time and skill are as precious as donating money. and this activity has led me to another volunteering activity which will be started on the final week of january. oh how i'm so excited! i will teach english in children class. the class consists of homeless kids living in shelter, or just those kids whose parents couldnt afford to send them to school. unpaid but my time and energy in weekend will be valuable for those kids.

related to my last year resolution. i always wanted to trim down few kgs out of my arms, and stomach and legs. but never got the chance. now i have almost become a fitness junkie. just this week i go to the gymn from tuesday-friday (all for cardio-dance class), and then usually on sunday i will go swimming. my friends noticed the different.. this makes me realized that to slim down was also my last year resolution and then it's absolutely this year's also. i have started long before the new year with good result showing. i will continue this, especially because this also give me the chance to know new people, and explore my body tolerance in exercising. and of course...my high interest and love of cardio-dance class. the movements are sensual and calorie-burning indeed. 

lastly...i want to change my habit of putting aside important things, loosing focus and not concentrating on the field that i love the most. i love aviation world, the aircraft, the technology, the sexy roaring jet engine, the economical aspect, the political aspect, the rivalry surrounding airbus and boeing relationship... OMG how i cant stop thinking about it. so now i put an end to that much thinking. i will start a new blog, specially dedicated to pour my thoughts on aviation world. no more putting aside.