maybe for once i should write a happy paragraphs. but happiness yet to come....
work is currently a constant torture. the mistake i have made has spiraled down to uncover the truth within my surroundings. oh i'm shocked because the professionalism is merely a cover..made of a very thin and easily breakable shade. daily i wonder if its even there.
i cannot wait to leave. oh how everyday i hope for a call...one coming from a worth while resource to employ me. but the many exits make me think.. what do i want to become in the next 5 or ten years? just stay and be like this? which also an option. or move ahead, forward and living my dream? which is the option i want for my exit. if i should go, i want to walk out with pride, and a smile to enter that new door of life. not with the saying "just-as-long-as-its-not-here".
so the waiting might last few while... God know how much i need it to come soon. in the mean time... i play what i'm good at. fake face all day. no its not tiring as long as i can shut down the feeling power. i dont feel...i dont sense... just the fake face, emotionless... the dangerous this is that when i'm getting so good at it. people cant really sense what happening within. but in this matter, i think it wouldnt be a problem.
