The Investment

the start was in a hurry mode. one where i was not given option to think and take time. the promises seemed blunt and straight.
then you were moving away out of your country. you were trying to get a new job there. it was good at the beginning. i was praying that you got a job soon. there was nothing more that i wanted.
the new job came and took you away from me. the time different, problems came and went. i thought i would just wait for the water to calm. but i was told it was always under storm.. oh is it?
it was already last year when we promised to be together. for the many months, half of it was nothing but argument. if it was a room, it was mostly empty. the only furniture was the breaking up-coming back session.
so what is this now? my heart is fatigue. the love was just nothing but a greeting on postal card. i couldnt find a single moment when we laugh together.
if this is to be long term, the short term is already disappointing. if this is to generate happiness until the end of time, so far it is the worst investment ever.

the unanswered expectation

the morning sky color represents my mood and heart. gloomy and heavy with water. how to smile in this kind of situation? a sad face is a lot easier to come out.

it felt like a soft strike to your heart but the blow is as hard as the strong one. not sure which one is better. if i could only wish for a calmer heart.

so the next task is how to move on. the current important task is accept with a great heart. and then learn from the mistake.

it's your mission now! (Jetfire - Revenge Of The Fallen)

after spending weeks without objective, the past few mornings have been like mornings with enlightment. at first it felt like searching a needle in a haystack. but the new triple x really kicks in the brain when Ainsley said finding needle in a needle stack. objectives are there. whether presented by people, nature, past experience etc etc. but i'm really looking for something that will put meaning to my life. something which will fulfill the non-material pursuit. and at the same time will automatically fill in the material demand. 

i read about some of those people. they are lucky enough to live in the world where they do what they like, and the worldly stuffs are just automatically fulfilled. not really know how these people do it. i would love to learn from them if i have the chance. but in the mean time i will just do what i can. with the help of family, friends and google. (the order is put in alphabetical order to avoid further useless argument on which should come first)

why i should start with Jetfire? He is a totally way beyond old school alien robot. his words of mission started the whole idea of searching the machine that will harvest the sun. without it, the milky way will lost its balance and fall apart. that is one hell of a mission! 

making decision is not an easy thing when you know the significant background. moreover when you want to decide things that will effect your future. at certain age you will sort of see what your parents nurture you to be. at times you have a choice to do way out of the SOP parental book coz you think its way cooler. and you were right and it was awesome! so now i wanna do almost similar but in my own better way. God speed! 

Some people really deserve a thankful note from me. especially my parents. the good thing is nowadays they are more loose. i dont live in golden cage anymore. and to my friends, especially for hearing all the random silly stuffs i'm saying. and to just tolerate the speed-of-light mind leap that may need lots of patience just to be able to bear the time with me. 

It was my mission. now it's your mission!. Taken from Jetfire line from the transformer movie entitled Revenge of the Fallen. The pic is taken from this site and few words were added to help me energize my writing.